A Trip To Perth, After 13 Years Away

Back in Oz After 13 Years

I loved Perth when I first visited in 2001 as a young backpacker, and I was keen to see how I felt about it in my late thirties.

The downside of travelling in April 2013 was that the British Pound was at its lowest against the dollar for 23 years, meaning this was going to be one very expensive holiday.

We arrived after a 17‑hour flight feeling surprisingly refreshed, and because it was early evening we decided to head out to keep our body clocks aligned.

The first bar we walked into charged AUD$9 for a 330ml bottle of beer. I nearly fainted. That worked out at $15.50 per pint, which equated to 11 GBP. This was clearly going to be a largely alcohol‑free holiday.

Luckily, we’d struck gold with an online deal and got into the Hilton Hotel for cheaper than a double room in a hostel.

Jet lag hit hard, and for the first few nights we kept waking at around 3am. The Sky TV channels got absolutely abused.

Perth: The New, Spruced-up version

Perth had changed dramatically. The CBD used to be a ghost town after dark, but now it was packed with bars and restaurants, highlighting the wealth that had poured into the city from Australia’s mining boom. In Australian terms, most of the mines are just a stone’s throw away.

There still isn’t a heap of things to see and do in the city itself, but Kings Park is a must. It sits perched above the Swan River and CBD, offering beautiful views and a reminder that Perth does green spaces very well.

Cottesloe Beach: Sharks and Slow Motion Swimmers

Cottesloe Beach is Perth’s most popular and accessible beach, so we popped down one afternoon. After a brief dip in the warm ocean, a siren suddenly sounded. It didn’t take long to realise it was a shark alarm. People sprinting out of the water leaving a trail of brown was an obvious giveaway.

Four helicopters arrived and began monitoring the shark’s movement from above while crowds gathered on the banks and rocks for a better view.

Then we realised they weren’t looking for the shark at all.

Everyone was watching one lone swimmer who had suicidally swum way out to sea and was now desperately trying to get back before becoming shark breakfast.

He seemed to be swimming in slow motion. Every stroke looked like it might be his last. After what felt like an age, he finally made it to shore, absolutely exhausted.

I reckon he could’ve given Michael Phelps a beating that afternoon.

We popped into the Cottesloe Hotel pub across the road, a venue I’d frequented regularly many years back, while the helicopters continued to circle. After an hour no one was allowed back in the water, so we headed back to the city happy that our limbs were still intact.

Rottnest Island: Quokkas and Turquoise Water

A trip to Perth isn’t complete without a visit to Rottnest Island.

Rottnest Island is Perth’s offshore paradise. A 17th‑century Dutch explorer named it Rottenest (“Rats nest”) after spotting what he thought were rats. They turned out to be quokkas, mini marsupials unique to the island. They’re incredibly cute, like tiny wallabies about a foot long, and pretty tame too.

The island is littered with beautiful beaches and turquoise water, and it’s easy to find a quiet spot. Just hire a beaten‑up bike and head off. It’s a perfect day trip from the city.

South of Perth: Beaches, Snakes and… Interesting Accommodation

One of the great things about living in Perth is everything south of it.

We hired a car and drove the 7‑hour, 800km journey down to Esperance on Australia’s south coast, a spot that had eluded me all those years ago.

We stopped at the oddly shaped Wave Rock, formed over thousands of years of weather patterns.

In Esperance we stayed with Caitlyn, a local couchsurfer. She lived with a male friend in a small open‑plan wooden home in her parents’ garden. She had two massive Great Danes who were as soft as anything and also as smelly as anything. They shared everything in the home. Chairs, beds, you name it. The whole place had a very doggy aroma.

We were shown our accommodation for the night: an old rusty caravan in the garden with a single bed surrounded by junk.

Giant cobwebs filled every corner and the window didn’t shut properly, allowing mozzies free entry. The caravan bathroom in the main house had layers of thick dust on every ledge, and the shower and toilet were a browny green colour.

The dog shampoo bottle next to the shower suggested it wasn’t exclusively for humans. The pair of knickers in the sink… I still have no idea.

Back in the house, plates hadn’t been washed for some time and food wrappers lay around the living area.

When two other couchsurfers arrived later and asked where the bin was, I replied a bit too loudly: “Everywhere, I think.”

But they were lovely people.

Friendly, engaging, and we genuinely enjoyed our stay despite the untidiness and a poor night’s sleep.

Cape Le Grande National Park just outside Esperance is known for its world‑class beaches, with Lucky Bay famously home to kangaroos that sunbathe on the sand.

By the time we arrived it was hammering down with rain and no roos were to be seen.

Disappointing. But the beaches were still beautiful and the sea crystal clear.

On the footpath down to one beach we were stopped by a tiny snake lying still by the edge.

As we eyed it up, a local woman walked past, glanced at it and said, “Ah, that’s a Dugite… yep, that’ll kill ya.”

For some bizarre reason she then grabbed a stick and poked it, much to the annoyance of the snake and even more annoyance to our clean underwear.

Karri Forests, BBQ Shame and Margaret River

After a night in Albany we reached Pemberton, located in the heart of the Karri tree forests.

Karri trees are among the world’s tallest, growing up to 80 metres high. There are several lookout trees you can climb for views over the forest.

We stayed in a lovely self‑contained villa and decided to have a BBQ.

If BBQ’ing were an Olympic sport, the Aussies would bring home more medals than just swimming.

The English would be disqualified for being so embarrassing. Well, assuming all English are like me – master producer of black charcoal sausages and uncooked chicken. I’ve a lot to learn if I’m ever going to blend in here.

From Pemberton we had a night in the hippy, chilled‑out surf town of Margaret River before moving on to Dunsborough.

Dunsborough: A Nostalgic Return

Back in 2000 I’d loved Dunsborough, a small seaside town about four hours south of Perth.

I’d stayed at an awesome hostel right on the beach and was keen to see if it was still there. To my delight, it was, so we stayed for the night.

The beach is a long golden stretch with clear water and tiny gentle waves, with hardly anyone around. We relaxed until an overly friendly dog named Astro startled me by licking my face. His owner was just as friendly, like all Aussies, interested in where we were from and happy to chat.

Back to Perth and Back to Reality

Back in Perth we went out for our one and only meal of the whole trip before catching our long flight back to a miserably wet London.

After a 13‑year absence, Perth had changed a lot. Not just the prices. I didn’t enjoy the city as much as I had back then, but the region south of Perth is still one of the most diverse and exciting parts of the country.

And it wasn’t going to be another 13 years before I returned – within 18 months we were back again on our way to a new life in New Zealand.

A trip to Perth, after 13 years away