Trip To Moscow: Football Injuries, Angry Parrots & Goodbye Metro

Confirming – I’m no longer 18

“Da, ya budu igrat,” I said confidently (“yes, I will play”), when a group of local lads asked if I fancied joining their football match. Sofia and Alex were already in the thick of it on the artificial pitch, so why not? What harm could a little kick‑about do?

It had been nearly 30 years since I last played football properly, but for the first few minutes I convinced myself I still had it. A few neat passes, a couple of runs into space – pretending I was 18 again – just carrying about 20kg more.

Then the ball rolled to me, in space, right near the goal. Instinct took over. I swung my leg with all the misplaced confidence of a man who believed he could still play.

My thigh muscle immediately raised a surrender flag.

A sharp, violent scream shot through my leg as it realised it was being used for the first time in three decades. That was me done. Out. Finished. Retired again. I limped into goal for the rest of the match like a wounded grandad. Conclusion: I am absolutely not 18 anymore.

The kids, however, loved it. They’ve been meeting “the lads” at the local astro‑pitch almost every night for weeks, and the Russian kids have been ridiculously welcoming – true legends.

Mini Moscow Adventures

Despite our two metro‑haters, we still dragged the kids into central Moscow a couple more times. Not that we lasted long.

We did a flying visit to Old Arbat Street – Moscow’s tourist strip full of souvenir shops, restaurants, but in the current climate, hardly any tourists. Then onto Zaryadye Park, the shiny new park behind Red Square with a viewing platform overlooking the river and the Kremlin.

The kids couldn’t care less. Mum and dad snapped photos like excited tourists; the kids stared at the floor waiting for ice cream.

The Parrot Café

Pet cafés have clearly spread from Asia to Moscow. We skipped the capybara café this time, but we did visit Mr Kakadu, a place where Australian parrots fly around freely and land on your head, teasing you as to whether they’re going to let one drop.

You pay per minute to be inside – I lasted about 90 seconds.

Within moments, one parrot climbed up my arm, looked me dead in the eye, and started pecking at my arm like his life depended on it. Before I even processed what was happening, I had a hole in my arm and blood dribbling down my arm.

Safe to say, my bill was probably the cheapest they’ve had all year.

Fake Beaches & Autumn Reality

About half an hour’s walk away is Sinichka Park and Lake – a man‑made beach with cafés, playgrounds and sports areas. Aside from a brief walk on Lowestoft beach earlier this year, this was our first encounter with sand since Penang back in March. And even then, we couldn’t go in the sea due to the jellyfish.

We cannot wait to get back to Thailand – the beaches.

But even a fake beach was enough for the kids: sandcastles, horse jumps, and the obligatory ice cream. A simple, perfect afternoon.

Autumn has fully kicked in now. Moscow doesn’t mess around – summer is short, winter arrives early, and in a couple of weeks the frosts will start. By November, the snow will be here.

One Last Metro Trip

We had one sunny day left, so we decided to drag the kids into the city centre one last time for one more soul‑sapping metro journey of despair.

Destination: VDNH again – this time for the Cosmos Museum.

We’d read it had loads of interactive displays for kids. It didn’t. It was basically a giant hall of Soviet space equipment. We thought the kids would hate it but there were, in the end, a few things that caught enough interest to last about 45-minutes.

Personally, I loved it. I wandered around the life‑size replica of the Mir space station, suspended above the exhibition floor, like a kid in a sweet shop.

But after a couple of hours of walking around more Soviet grandeur, posh fountains, imposing buildings, and one bribery ice cream – we were done. No more metro trips. Ever.

Ten Weeks in Moscow: Epic, Challenging, Unforgettable

Our ten weeks here have been a huge part of the trip. At times epic, at times challenging, but always culturally rich. Moscow never fails to deliver – even when it’s cold, tiring, or full of parrots trying to eat you.

So, for us, it’s goodbye Moscow and hello again, Thailand, as we hit the home straight of this year‑long adventure.