Introducing the ‘stans
Central Asia is one of those regions most people from the West never visit and rarely hear about.
Sacha Baron Cohen may have put Kazakhstan on the map with Borat, but the rest of the ’stans remain a mystery. Honestly, if you told someone you were off to “Madeupistan”, they’d probably nod politely and ask when you fly.
Kazakhstan, like much of the region, has been fought over for centuries — Mongols, Russians, and eventually the Soviet Union — before gaining independence in 1991.
Today it still has close ties with Russia and boasts the strongest economy in Central Asia thanks to its oil and gas reserves. It also became visa‑free for UK citizens just weeks before our visit in 2014, which felt like a personal favour given some of our visa challenges for our adventure.
We spent five nights in Almaty, the former capital and still the economic heart of the country, home to 1.5 million people.
Almaty: The “Good” City
We started upbeat after accidentally blagging a free bus ride — playing the innocent foreigner card and saving ourselves a life‑changing six pence.
Almaty felt like a mini-Moscow: but with friendlier people, cheaper living, a relaxed café culture, and a stunning mountain backdrop.
But it’s missing that something extra that turns a good city into a great one. There aren’t many sights for the average tourist, so five days felt about right.
The surrounding region, however, is packed with natural beauty — canyons, waterfalls, mountains — all within a day’s reach.
The only problem? Most tour companies only operate at weekends, and everything was booked.
Navigating Local Buses in Kazakhstan
So we decided to reach Almaty Big Lake on our own. A taxi would’ve cost about £30 return, but in the spirit of backpacking we opted for the £2 adventure instead.
Two complicated and jam-packed buses later, we arrived in a small mountain village — but not before experiencing what I can only describe as Kazakhstan’s unique approach to bus operations.
Having worked for a bus company, I’m familiar with performance KPIs, but here the targets seemed… different:
- Punctuality: Remove timetables entirely so punctuality cannot be measured.
- Driver politeness: Ignore as many customers as possible while chatting on your mobile.
- Safety: See how many passengers you can eject without fully stopping the bus.
- Maintenance: Aim for the engine to sound like it’s seconds from exploding.
- Green agenda: Produce enough black smoke to blot out the sun.
All part of the experience. Character building, I think they call it.
The 16km Hike to Almaty Big Lake
From the village, we hiked 16km in blistering heat up to 2,500m.
The reward was worth every sweaty step: a tranquil mountain lake framed by snow‑capped peaks, pine forests, and turquoise water. A picture‑postcard scene.
We didn’t fancy the 16km walk back, so we hitchhiked most of the way to the bus stop and made it back to Almaty in one piece. A brilliant day out.
A Tiny Taste of a Vast Country
Kazakhstan is enormous, and we only managed to nibble at one corner of it. Madeupistan will have to wait — next stop was just across the border into Kyrgyzstan…
