It was a ten-hour drive from Hua Hin to Ko Lanta so rather than attempt to do it in one day and severely punish our ears with the number of “are we there yets”, for everyone’s sanity, we decided to break the journey up over three days.
The Worst Night’s Sleep
I’ve stayed in some real budget places in my travelling days.
There was the mosquito‑infested rustic hut in Malaysia, where the constant rustling and pattering of feet convinced me a rat was sharing the room.
There was the $1‑a‑night shoebox on Bangkok’s Khao San Road, where the walls were so thin I could hear all of my neighbours actions and trust me, in Bangkok, there’s a lot of action.
And then there was Kyrgyzstan, where I slept on the floor beneath a bear skin whose paws kept tickling my ears.
When you’re travelling on a budget, accommodation is the easiest place to save money — it’s usually the biggest daily expense. But there’s always a delicate balance between comfort and cost.
We normally try to get separate rooms for the kids, but when we’re on the move, we sometimes squeeze into one room. That was the case on one of our stops down this coast.
On day one, exhausted after a long day, we grabbed a quick local meal and headed straight to bed.
As we climbed into the two double beds wedged tightly between the walls, our first concern was the crinkling sound of the soft plastic mattress covers — the kind that makes you feel like you’re sleeping inside a packet of crisps, with a crunching sound at every slight move.
It didn’t take long to realise the single blanket didn’t even cover all four of us. If one person moved, everyone else felt the draft. And with the room full of mosquitos, we were all constantly on the move.
Eventually we drifted off… only to be woken a couple of hours later by the curtain rail crashing down onto me with a heavy thud, followed by an even louder “ooouch.”
The kids somehow slept through it while Anya and I attempted a DIY repair job. No luck. Out came the sarong, which we hung up as a makeshift curtain — it only blocked about 30% of the outside light that was left on all night.
As we dozed on and off, fidgeting on the hard, uneven mattresses, the fitted sheet suddenly pinged off one corner.
We tried wrestling it back on, but it refused to stay put. After several unintentional rounds of “roll over,” Alex ended up at the edge of the bed, wrapped inside the fitted sheet and lying directly on the sticky, sweaty, noisy plastic. Finally he woke, and that was him then fidgeting all night long.
Just before dawn, we finally managed a few minutes of sleep — only to be woken by a cockerel, joined in perfect duet by an Asian Koel screaming from the tree outside, like they were auditioning for some bird version of X-Factor.
By far, the worst sleep of our trip, so far. Not exactly ideal preparation for the steep hike we had planned for the next day
The Magical Cave
That steep hike was our first activity of the road trip – a stop at Phraya Nakhon Cave, just an hour south of Hua Hin.
And what a stop it was.
Buried deep in the jungle, the cave holds the Royal Pavilion, a Royal ceremonial structure built approx.150 years ago for the Thai Royal Family.
It is not just the sweat-induced, strenuous trek to get there that makes it special, it is the magic that happens around 10am-11am, every (sunny) morning.
The roof above the pavilion has collapsed and as the sun rises it shines through the gap lighting up the gold of the pavilion in majestic fashion, like an angelic building being birthed.
As Sofia, Anya and I stared in awe, somewhat in a spiritual moment, Alex had more fun sliding on his backside down the steep gravel.
Truly one of Thailand’s top attractions for us.
The long drive to Ko Lanta
We carried on down the coast stopping here and there at small villages hugging the beaches.
Stunning Thung Pua Laen beach was the highlight, three hours further south on the coast.
The beach here was white squeaky sand and the sea crystal clear, and noticeably warmer than Hua Hin but cold enough for some reprieve from the boiling sun that seemed to be getting hotter and made us feel like we were melting, the further south we travelled.
As we then swung from East coast to West coast, we noticed a dramatic change in scenery, as the famous southwestern Thailand limestone karsts became more frequent. It was my turn to counter-act the constant “are we there yet” with my own constant “wooooow”.
Ko Lanta, where Monkeys rule the island
Eventually we made it to the car ferry and made the ten-minute crossing onto the island of Ko Lanta.
Ko Lanta, a sizeable island, which takes about 45 minutes to drive from top to bottom, we had heard was quiet and a good place to chill with the family.
We were therefore surprised to arrive at a bustling island that seemed to be overrun with sunburnt tourists riding dangerously on scooters.
Having the car was the perfect way to explore to try to find a quieter spot away from the crowds although navigating the volume of scooters around the tight narrow roads was challenging at times.
The further south we went, the quieter it got and the better the beaches got, so that is the direction we headed most days.
One day, whilst eating lunch with the car parked nearby, an army of monkeys come out of the bushes to ambush our car.
At first it was funny but then I got slightly concerned for the hire car’s safety, so I went over to investigate. An aggressive “tough guy” leader confronted me.
I approached him trying to look menacing with the aim of scaring him away, but as I got close, he charged at me, and with a loud hiss and display of his razor-sharp fangs, I was the one sent scurrying.
Clearly Hertz’s car, was now theirs.
I backed off with my tail between my legs to finish my lunch.
Eventually they got bored and trudged off to go terrorise some other poor tourists.
As I approached the car after lunch, I could see that they had left us a present. Not only were there muddy footprints all over the car paintwork but a fresh poo had been laid on the roof.
The words “cheeky monkeys” would have been a polite way to translate the actual words that came out of my mouth.
It got worse a day later, when I foolishly left our car open. Whilst only for two minutes, it was enough time for a quick thinking monkey to come out of nowhere, jump into the front seat and grab a packet of crackers from a bag, quicker than an Oxford Street pickpocket.
“Cheeky monkey” yet again.
Whilst we never really clicked with the vibe on Ko Lanta, as it felt more like a couples or “young ‘uns” island, we did find many incredible, white-sanded beaches with crystal clear warm water.
We even found a very run-down unsafe waterpark where both Alex and I came away with cuts and bruises, and somehow, I pulled a muscle in my shoulder no longer able to raise my arm above my head.
You know you’re getting old when you injure yourself at a waterpark.
Alex seemed to bounce back within seconds of a plaster being adhered. Me? I needed a lay down.
The sidecar of doom
Still in search of that idyllic laid-back paradise, we headed off to the island of Ko Yao Noi.
After catching the ferry back to the mainland, dropping the car off in Krabi, grabbing a taxi to the pier, we then got a thirty-minute speedboat ride to the island.
“What country are we in now?” Alex asked innocently, clearly confused at the different modes of transport we were using, it felt like we had crossed different time zones.
Our initial feeling as we arrived on Ko Yao Noi, was that we had found what we were looking for: quiet, relaxed, slow-paced, low-key.
So relaxed, that the taxi from the pier dropped us at the wrong accommodation and left us stranded.
With taxis very infrequent and costing too much for our budget, and with no hire cars on the island, scooters and sidecars were the only option to get around.
I thought that the sidecar option would be fun for us all and given my experience of riding motorbikes, how hard could it be?
When the rental lady arrived with it at our accommodation, I was surprised to see that it looked like a piece of Lego on wheels.
I’ve built something more stable-looking with the kids from discarded toilet rolls and sticky tape.
At her request, I took it for a test ride, expecting to go just a few hundred minutes and be back in two minutes.
Ten minutes later I was still going, completely unable to find a way to turn around.
This thing had a mind of its own.
If a vehicle could be blind drunk, this was it. Like it was recovering from a night out at a Ko Phangan full moon party.
The steering was all over the place as I fought to keep it in a straight line as the handlebars rattled like thunder.
Turning it was a completely different challenge as I struggled to even get the wheels to turn in the direction I wanted. My heart was pounding as giggling locals looked on at the incompetent foreigner.
I had never experienced anything like this.
I eventually got it back but before taking the family out, I wanted to get a bit more practice in, so off I went again.
I eventually got the hang of keeping it straight, but it took all my might as the handlebars still rattled with a mind of their own, my triceps ready to explode at the sheer effort to keep this thing straight.
Turning was a completely new skill that needed mastering, and quick.
Again, a short test-run turned into me going halfway around the island before I could be confident enough to turn.
After watching half a dozen YouTube videos of “how to ride a sidecar”, we eventually got out as a family, but I refused to go above 20KPH.
In a straight line, it was heaps of fun, despite the sweat pouring from my brow as my elbow joints took the brunt of the fight to keep it straight.
It was doing the opposite of what the YouTube videos told me, so I was clueless.
I still had concerns at the quality of the build, the welding looking like it was done with superglue. I was half expecting to see Anya and the kids at any moment break free like a runaway train, like that scene in Wallace and Gromit.
Then we came to a steep hill.
The further up the hill we got, the louder the horrific noise from the engine, and the more it wanted to career off to the left, I had to use all my strength to keep it on the road.
“Dad, you’re getting too close to the grass” were the last words I recall before my muscles could take it no more and I pulled the breaks, leaving us stranded halfway up the hill, the front parked on the grass, the rear, sticking out at a dangerous angle on the road.
I think I left a small skid mark, but I won’t confirm which kind…
The ordeal wasn’t over.
With the weight of the family on the side car, and the steep angle of the hill, the front wheel started to tip up, and it felt like the whole thing was about to roll backwards down the hill.
“Everybody out” I yelled as the kids jumped for their lives, as it started to slide sideways down the hill with the front wheel in the air, cutting my left calf in the process. I started to recall if I had completed my last will and testament or not, as the kids stood by half laughing, half crying.
Somehow, I got it back under control and eventually with some pushing from Anya, we turned it around, gave up on the hill, and went back the way we came.
There was however another hill and the same thing happened. This time though, everyone managed to bail before the slide.
Again, we survived.
But that it was it.
The fun had been taken out of it.
So, we returned it and got a scooter instead.
The next day my elbow joints were so stiff from the extreme pressure put on them that I could not straighten my arms, instead receiving strange looks as I walked around like I was doing ‘the robot’ dance all day.
Coupled with my injury from the Ko Lanta waterpark, the cut from the sidecar, I was seriously falling apart and beginning to think maybe I’m too old for this travelling lark.
Avatar views
Having just a scooter, meant the need to do shuttle runs to get everyone to our destination.
Back on my beloved two wheels riding on an island though, I was in heaven, despite the added time needed for each journey.
Our time had been slightly tarnished on the island as getting around had become more complicated with the scooter but we made the most of it and found some stunning beaches with turquoise warm waters and the most stunning of outlooks to the karsts rising majestically out of the ocean all around, like we were in a scene from the movie Avatar.
We decided the best way to see this Avatar world, would be to head out on a half-day trip by private traditional Thai Longboat, out into the glistening Andaman Sea to visit those karst islands.
As the sea breeze blew through our hair, the sun shone and our noses were filled with the engine smell of the rickety boat, we finally reached the highlight of the trip, Hong Island.
Hong Island is often called “the new Beach”, a reference to Maya Bay on Ko Phi Phi Island, made famous by the Leo DeCaprio movie, The Beach.
Luckily Hong Island hasn’t reached the over-tourism barrier just yet and whilst busy, doesn’t feel like it’s about to implode, like Maya Bay did after the movie’s success.
A natural hidden turquoise lagoon sits beneath towering limestone cliffs on all sides with a white powered beach curving around the bay laying secret from the sea outside.
I took a steep calf-burning hike up to the lookout for spectacular views of the islands dotting the sea as far as the eye could see, and the stunning beauty of the lagoon far below. It was almost too perfect, like I was sitting inside a photoshopped image.
An unforgettable trip, truly enjoyed by the kids, who got to snorkel and see some tropical fish swimming around the clear waters. They will probably remember the fish more than the “dad, they’re boring” karsts.
Looking forward to Malaysia
And so, after five days, we went back to the mainland, had a couple of “reset” days in the tourist town of Krabi, before grabbing a mind-numbing five-hour taxi ride to the pier to catch a short boat ride into Malaysia.
After eleven epic adventurous weeks in beautiful, friendly Thailand, new foods, language, and culture await us, along with plenty of new adventures and memories to be created.
Whilst we are hoping the Malaysian Monkeys are friendly, finally, when Alex asks, “are we in a new country now?”, we can reply “yes”.
Wonderful reading your adventure
Keeping going and keep having fun
Jackie