Disappearing swim shorts, feeding elephants & giant playzones

We’re now four weeks into our time in Hua Hin, Thailand, and we’ve finally settled into a new condo — more space, more comfort, and enough room for the kids to argue in their room instead of directly in my ear. It’s starting to feel like we actually live here rather than just passing through. Which is exactly what we wanted for a short while.

Most days we still manage some kind of adventure. Hua Hin is full of paid activities but the pool or the beach do a good job of entertaining the kids for free most days.

Things to Do in Hua Hin with Family

High on the kids’ to-do list were the two water parks: Vana Nava and Black Mountain.

Vana Nava is the bigger one, right near the city centre. The best part? No queues. I’ve never seen a water park so quiet. It was almost unsettling — like we’d turned up on a public holiday no one told us about. The kids loved it, and to be fair, so did I… until my calves started burning from the endless stair climbs. After about the tenth ascent, I was ready to call it a day, but the kids were going up and down like two Duracell bunnies.

I did manage to brave the “Freefall” slide — an 18‑metre drop at 50 km/h. I felt confident on the way up, admiring the ocean views, but the moment I stood at the top looking down that vertical tube, my stomach suggested I find a toilet. With the kids waving from below, looking like tiny ants, I had no choice but to be a brave dad and launch myself. Five seconds later I was at the bottom, eyes stinging, adrenaline pumping, and my swim shorts lodged somewhere they definitely shouldn’t be. What a buzz.

Black Mountain, about 20 minutes inland, turned out to be a third of the price and somehow even quieter. Nine slides, a wave machine, and before we knew it, five hours had disappeared and the sunburn was starting to kick in. The kids were fearless — repeatedly taking on the freefall slides like they were training for some kind of world slide championships.

Then there’s Harborland, the newly opened indoor play area inside Bluport Mall. This place is huge — 3,500 square metres, which for the New Zealanders reading is roughly the size of five Chipmunks. And because it had only been open three days, everything was still shiny, clean, and not yet covered in saliva or suspicious stickiness.

There were slides, inflatables, a bucking bronco, group video games, and “Harbor Town” — a miniature city where kids can pretend to be barbers, mechanics, chefs, vets… you name it. I felt like royalty as the kids cured my penguin, fixed my tractor, cut my hair, cooked me an omelette, pulled out my bad tooth, gave me an X‑ray, and formed a band with me. It was the most productive I’ve been in a long time.

Hua Hin also appears to have its own Banksy. A guy known as “Joe” spent years anonymously painting giant colourful eyes on walls, lampposts, driveways — even hanging from power lines. His identity eventually came out, but by then others had copied the style, so now “Eye Dude” as the kids called him, is everywhere. The kids have turned spotting them into a full‑time sport.

We also visited the Hutsadin Elephant Foundation, a sanctuary for rescued elephants. I thought my kids ate a lot, but elephants put them to shame — 200kg of food a day. To help fund the sanctuary, they offer a 30‑minute “walk, feed, and shower” experience. I’ve ridden an elephant before, but being this close — stroking one, feeding it, showering it — was something else. They’re such gentle, gracious animals. One of those travel moments that sticks with you.

So, time is flying by. The kids have settled very well lately, though we did have to put a stop to the constant fighting over who gets to sit in the middle of the taxi, or push the lift button, or open the front door. It got ridiculous. So now only adults can open doors, push buttons, and sit in the middle. Peace has returned.

Now our attention turns to the big question: Do we pay through the nose for a Christmas roast dinner, or stick with our $2 chicken and rice that makes my eyeballs sweat?

Right — I’m off to have one last look for those swim shorts…